Saturday, December 10, 2016

I have Apsergers.



If you did not read the introduction, I am Tails, a 20 year old female with Aspergers. Many, who know of my "disorder", describe me as high functioning, almost to the point of mis-diagnosis... But what they don't understand is that I have spent the better part of 2 decades studying and modifying my behavior to become more socially accepted. Everything that sets me apart from a "low-functioning" aspie are as follows...
     -Eye contact (and lack thereof)
     -Compassion
     -Empathy
     -Meltdowns
I can honestly describe myself as loving, kind, and forgiving (almost to a fault.) But I have tried very hard to get to where I am today. I have learned that 15 seconds of eye contact, then a partial glace away, is the average for NT (Neuro Typical.) Compassion is just trying to make other people feel how I feel when I am doing something that makes me happy (feeling a soft blanket or listening to music.) Empathy is just like an equation, take their situation, subtract them out and add yourself in. It really helps put things in perspective. Meltdowns are a regular occurrence, but they are not always external. Often times I get migraines and throbbing headaches because of sensory overload or because I am unsure of what to do in a certain situation. But because I have taught myself all of these things, people do not take my diagnosis seriously. They think I am doing it for attention or for special treatment. This is not the case. If I could go to a carnival without having to sit down and plug my ears for 10 minutes, I would. If I could go to a party without sitting alone outside because of sensory overload, I would. If I could go to a friends house without leaving an hour later because there were too many people there, I would.
Just because I have learned to adapt to certain situations. It doesn't mean that I have cured myself.